Jul. 19, 2020

The Purpose of Heartbreak

When you're in the middle of it, it's easy to ask "Why?", "Why did this have to happen?", "What's wrong with me, why am I not good enough?"

Even after they left, we continue to torture ourselves with these questions.  We doubt ourselves and question our self-worth.  We wonder what we could've done differently.

Rejection never feels good, and even if you're experienced in that department, it doesn't lessen the sting.  Maybe someone turned their back and never looked back.  I experienced this a year ago and it still haunts me.  Perhaps your story is different.  Perhaps someone decided the grass was greener, or you outgrew a situation, or they did.

After asking "What was the purpose of it all?" for so long, the answer finally struck me...

Sometimes our hearts need to be broken.  Sometimes we need to doubt ourselves and our worth.  Sometimes we need to get stripped down to nothing and scrape the bottom.  Because from that very low place, the only natural next step is the realization that it wasn't true. 

Of course you are worthy.  Of course you have value.  In fact, you are amazing!  And if someone couldn't see that, it is a reflection of their own stuff, and not your worthiness.

We never know what someone else is going through, what's on their plate, or what effect past experiences have on their current perspective.  Holding yourself hostage and wondering where you went wrong is not healthy.  

So ask yourself: 1). What did this experience teach me? and 2). How am I grateful for it?

Remember that everyone who enters our lives does so for a reason.  There are lessons and blessings in every encounter, and nothing is by chance.  There are no accidents or coincidences in this world.  We are destined to cross paths with those we do. 

Examine the void you were trying to fill, and see how you can fill that void yourself.  How might you provide yourself with the love you seek externally?  It is no one's responsibility to love or "complete" us, because we are already whole.  It's dishonoring to ourselves to think otherwise, and puts undue responsibility on someone else.

So take your power back and love yourself.  Find the one you seek within yourself.  When you do, you will discover your Soulmate lies within.  ❤️